Karen was my rock the person who kept me going in life. She left for Sydney on a once in lifetime job offer, and I should have gone with her but had to finish Uni first. She was killed in a car accident and died instantly. As I can not visit you I want put a memorial to you where I can. Since your death I have not coped and I need you. When I am sad I try to remember the good times but struggle. I need to move on but can not because of the guilt I feel for not being with you and being with someone else. They tell me suicide is painless but I can not do that as it is not my time to be with you. One day I will see you again. When you left St. Helens for Australia I knew I would never see you again. I want to say sorry for every argument we had, and thank you for the joy you brought me when we were happy. If I could have stopped you from going I would have but you could not be stopped.

Life with out you has been awful and I need to let you go. I am sorry for this but I need my life back and I can not live in the past anymore. Forgive me for wanting to move on please remember that you were my first true love and I would never have cheated on you. I know you loved me and it was the best time for me knowing you. Our wedding would have been nice but I know our families would not have approved. I am sorry that I upset your mum I am sorry for arguing with Tracy, I hope you will approve of me giving her your ring to keep safe for your niece Amanda, I am sure she will look after it as there is no other person I know that the ring will fit. I am sorry you got upset and threatened by Aneta, since you've been gone she has been the person to help me but she is in Australia I find it hard to talk to people about you as we kept of engagement and love quiet not too upset family.

For everything you did for me thank you. I am sorry I could not say goodbye I hope you approve of this memorial. For everything you I did wrong sorry forgive me and I hope that if I do find someone knew you wont be angry with me as I don’t want to hurt you. You are now a memory and the guilt I feel asking someone out is killing me and making me ill. I need you to know I miss you and I want you back but can  not do it alone I need your help I need you to know that I still love always have and always will and I am not replacing you. There is only one you and I don’t want you to think I am replacing you as I am not my life since you have gone has been a living hell and I need it to stop it still hurts to listen to your music, it hurts thinking about you and I can not block you out of my life because you did that much for me. When I see you in the next life I hope you will understand everything I have done.

Please forgive me for everything I did to hurt you I never meant to. May you rest in peace where ever you are?