Writing an obituary

An obituary tells people that someone has died, says who they were, and says where and when to come. It is usually written in a hurry, by someone who is grieving, and it does not have to be difficult.

What to include

The name, including the name they were known by. When and where they were born and died. The people closest to them, living and gone before. What they did for a living, and what they did for love. The details of the service, or a line saying it is private. Where to send flowers, or which charity to give to instead.

How to write it

Write it as you would say it. One true detail about a person, the thing everyone would recognise, does more than a paragraph of praise. Read it aloud before you send it, and let one other person read it, because names and dates are easy to get wrong when you are tired.

Where it goes

Newspapers charge by the line, so most families write a short notice for the paper and a longer piece elsewhere. Funeral homes usually publish one on their own website for a while.

What an online memorial adds

An obituary is read once. An online memorial stays: the whole story rather than a paragraph, photographs, keepsakes, and the notes people leave over the years. It has its own address you can send to anyone, and anyone who knew them can add to it if the family allows. Creating one at PartingWishes.com is free, and it goes online as soon as you are ready.